My One Word for 2020

One of the most meaningful practices of my adult life has been adopting a “word of the year” from which I set my intentions and priorities. Here’s the story behind discovering my “one word” for 2020 and a close-up view of the mind-map I created in my planner to help me embrace this word from three different angles. Let’s dive in!

Backstory

Seven years ago, during my first year of blogging, I decided to embrace the practice of choosing “one word” for the year…and it was SUCH a fruitful experience, I’ve chosen a “word of the year” every January since!

I can all too easily lose track of the dozen new goals and practices I’m going to start doing, but narrowing my focus to one word that will act like an anchor to keep me from wandering too far from shore, well, it just plain works for me.

My husband Mark even took on a word for 2019 and now for 2020, and I have to say it’s really helpful for me to know his “one word” so I can cheer him on when I see him living it out, just as he has for me all these years.

This Year

Speaking of cheering one another on, Mark did something incredibly loving and surprised me with the gift of a 2 day / 1 overnight personal retreat last month. He booked me a night at a beautiful Disney resort (Coronado Springs for the win!), marked the dates on our calendar, and then come New Year’s Day, he waved goodbye to me from our front lawn with both girls in tow.

I couldn’t think of a better way to begin the new year. And my first stop was to get a mani-pedi because nothing makes me feel fresh and new quite like trading in some hangnails for Violet’s Secret (the name of my nail polish).

Once I was checked in at my fancy new digs, I found a bench on lake Lago Dorado where I parked myself at sunset, decaf mocha latte in hand. I turned off the podcast. And just decided to be present where I was–a practice I’ve been hitting hard since January of last year (presence was my one word 2019!).

Something I learned in theatre in college is that if you want to become present in your body and mind, start focusing on your breath, and then tune into your five senses. It helps ground you in the here and now.

And so, I did.

I saw the setting sun casting its golden magic at sharp angles across the buildings and benches and Disney-goers.
I smelled the confederate jasmine in bloom.
I heard the Christmas tunes with a Latin twist pumping from speakers hidden in the foliage.
I tasted the warm drink on my tongue.
I felt the cool, crisp air on my skin.

And BAM. Without any warning, without much a lead-in, it hit me: my word for 2020.

E N O U G H

I reached for my resort map and started scribbling down some reflections:

“Enough!” It’s a word we scream to stop the crazy. Stop the frenzy. It halts people in their tracks. Brings a ceasing. And I feel desperately in need of a ceasing to my own inner frenzy of constantly striving–striving after my goals, projects, achievements, approval–of being “enough” (and never quite feeling like I am).

It’s exhausting–this sense of always needing to do more. Of only being as good as my last success. And I’m sick of it. I’ve had enough! It’s like that thing Tony Robbins said in that Netflix documentary: “When you get to the point of saying, ‘I’ve had it!’ that’s when change can happen.” (Not an exact quote, but that’s the gist.)

That’s where I’m at. I’ve had enough of the striving to do more and be better and prove my worth in achievements.

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“Enough” when whispered by a still small voice within speaks to a different side of my one word: to my value. I am enough as I am simply because God made me. And loves me. I have done nothing to earn that love. But He loved me enough in my brokenness to send His son to earth to die a sinner’s death on the cross on my behalf. To pay the debt I owed. (Romans 5: 6-11)

Because Jesus was enough, I am, too. There’s no need to prove myself worthy of titles or likes or love because of the work He did on the cross. I can rest in my identity as God’s beloved, forgiven and free.

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
-“It Is Well With My Soul” by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

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Whoa, I just thought of another side to “enough” in terms of contentment: being content with the hours I’ve been given in each day; being content with 6 days of work. It’s enough. I can rest on the 7th day. I can leave my work unfinished for 24 hours so I can devote an entire day to resting, receiving God’s love, and sending that love back to Him and my people. Because this is how we were designed to operate. Not with my “to do list” calling the shots.

I mean, here’s a thought: what if I started to believe I wasn’t “behind.” But I was right where I needed to be? Even while tasks remain unfinished and goals remain unachieved. What if I could rest in knowing we have enough time for what God would have us do? The rest is up to Him.

After all, He is in the business of making much out of little. Of taking a small boy’s lunch and turning it into a meal to feed thousands upon thousands. There is enough time, enough of me to go around, enough manna for today.

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One word. Three facets.

I decided to create a mind-map in the back of my *Horacio Dream Planner to explore the three different angles to my “one word.”

• I’ve had enough….
  • striving
  • proving my worth in achievements
  • being only as good as my last success
  • believing I’ll be loved more if I do more
• I am enough…
  • because God made me and loves me as I am
  • because His love is something I could not earn
  • because Jesus paid the debt I owed through a sinner’s death on the cross
  • because my sin (not in part but the whole) is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
• There is/are enough…
  • hours in the day for what I’m called to do (tasks can remain unfinished)
  • days in the week for work (I can give one to rest)
  • of me to go around; God is the ultimate care-taker of my loved ones
  • manna for today; God has provided for my every need

A Different Kind of One Word

Usually my one word comes with action steps. But what became very clear to me straight out of the gate is that “enough” is less a word to do as it is one to be.

That’s hard for me, y’all. I love my lists! I love “showing my work.” I love the sense of accomplishment I get from seeing a habit tracker filled out 100%.

But what I don’t love is how lame I feel when I see my unchecked boxes and my empty habit trackers. They make me feel like I’m “less than.” And that’s exactly why I want to dedicate this entire year to believing they have no bearing on my worth.

How does one start believing in her enough-ness in Christ when she has spent pretty much her entire life since middle school striving after external metrics for success? Having her ambition and drive and desire to achieve rewarded at every turn? Making verbal affirmation her drug of choice?

Asking for a friend. {Wink.}

How to Start Believing in My Enough-ness

Well, I think it comes from nearness with Jesus. Spending more time just BEING with the one who says, “You are enough in me.” Taking a deeper dive into my one word of presence from last year.

Here are a few ways I want to grow nearer to my God this year, which found their way onto a colorful spread in my Horacio Dream Planner:

• prayer: I’ve always struggled with prayer when it’s just me and God, but I recently heard a great podcast on talking to God like you would a friend–not just asking for things, but telling him about the projects you’re working on for instance. And it has been such a help to me as I spend time with God in prayer (most often in the car these days). Here’s that episode if you’re curious: The Place We Find Ourselves, “Having Conversations with God.”
• practicing silence & solitude: I want to learn how to be still before God (another challenging spiritual discipline for me), where I practice just being with God, receiving His love for me and loving Him back without words–even if it’s during my 10 minutes of quiet in the shower. After all, it was on that bench in silence and solitude when I discovered my one word!
• community: I want to start practicing with a few close friends being honest about my struggles and feelings in the moment and before I have a clear resolution or game plan. This is not my forte. I’m a pro at reframing every messy situation or emotion I feel into a “lesson learned” as quickly as possible. But I now I’m more in tune this tendency of mine (thanks to reading the chapter on being an enneagram 3 in *”The Road Back to You” by Ian Morgan Cron & Suzanne Stabile). And I want to work on delaying that “lesson learned” for a tad longer in order to more fully embrace that I am loved as I am–messy and in process.

• sabbath: this has been a family practice for us for years now–dedicating one 24 hour period each week where Mark and I stop our paid and unpaid work to rest and experience delight in God. I know that practicing Sabbath is key to believing in my enough-ness, and so I’m gung-ho about sticking with it. My Sabbath mentor (who I’ve never met!) is John Mark Comer, pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland. His teachings on Sabbath have been SO helpful in painting a practical picture of what Sabbath can look like for us in 2020 with two small children and a crazy, ever-changing schedule each week. Here’s the first podcast in his teaching series on Sabbath to get you started: Bridgetown Church, “Rest for Your Soul.”
• digital detox: all of the above takes time–time I need to free up by spending less time on my phone (where it’s all too easy to believe my enough-ness is proven in likes and comments). We already take a break from our devices on Sabbath, but we’ve started to do so in the evenings and early mornings, too, putting our phones “to bed” after the girls. And waking them up only after we’ve spent some time with God. I’ve not been perfect at this, but I want to keep after it. John Mark Comer’s book, *“The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry,” was one of my favorite reads of 2019, and I highly recommend it if you’re addicted to your phone and ready to do something about it.

• scripture meditation: I want to meditate on the words God has that speak to my value on a daily basis. This above all feels most important. Because everything around me screams “we love you for what you do!” So, you and I both need to fight that with Truth from the one who made us and loves us unconditionally. Erryday erryday.

To Close

I’m honestly excited about this shift I sense happening within me. And I’m excited about it happening in you, too. And maybe we can go from being Never-Enough-ians to I-Am-Enough-Already…even if we fail at every single one of our 2020 resolutions.

Wouldn’t that be remarkable? To live as though we are loved no matter what we do or don’t do.

To close, I’ll share a quote that my friend Darling recently texted me. It felt quite apropos:

“The only people who get better are people who know that, if they never get better, God will love them anyway.” ―Steve Brown, A Scandalous Freedom

And this verse I keep coming back to:

“…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” –Romans 5:8

It feels impossible to wrap my mind around this kind of unconditional love…but this is the year I want to start trying.

Who’s with me?

FREE 7-WEEK DEVOTIONAL

2021 Update: I’m re-launching my “Enough Already” Devotional Series from 2020 for in an evergreen series that you can sign up for any time of year, not just during Lent.

It’s a FREE email series and will arrive in your inbox every Wednesday for 7 weeks, starting the first Wednesday after sign-up.

So, this post identified with you, no matter where you find yourself in your faith journey, I hope you’ll consider joining us. Click HERE to learn more and sign up!

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Where to go next?

I also created a VIDEO Manifesto for my fellow “Never Enough-ians.” It’s only 31 seconds long, and I hope it will serve as an encouragement to you. Click HERE to watch it.

Where to go next?

Curious to read posts I wrote on my past “one words”? Here are a few rabbit trails for your hopping pleasure:

• 2022: Faithful
• 2021: Enough
• 2019: Presence
• 2018: Rhythm
• 2017: Nourish
• 2016: Purpose, not Perfection
• 2015: Surrender
• 2014: Balance
• 2013: Leap

I also invite you to check out my 2019 Year in Review. An annual review has become an important practice for me each year, even before choosing my “one word.” Click HERE for the inside scoop.

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