Virtual Coffee Date: Social-Distancing Style!

Hiya Friend,

Well, since we were last talking about My One Word for 2020, it feels like the world has turned upside-down (a few times over).

What a surreal thing to be living during a season that we know will be taught in history books and recollected around family campfires.

One thing that has been grounding for me in these uncertain times has been maintaining routines that foster connection and fill my soul…and a virtual coffee date with you, my friend, feels like just the routine to fit that bill!

Shall we? Pretty please?

(If you’re new in these parts, virtual coffee dates are my thang. In my humble opinion, it’s the next best thing to clinking mugs of yum in person! Readers have told me that these virtual coffee dates are a bright spot in their inbox, and so if you’d like to join my email list to stay in the loop on future coffee dates, click HERE.)

coffee talk time

If we could enjoy a socially-distanced meet up for over yummy drinks, we’d concoct a plan that involves meeting at the parking lot of our favorite local coffee joint.

It has its own drive-through, so you’d lead the charge with me following close behind, rolling down my window and blasting, “I’m so Excited,” by The Pointer Sisters to make very clear how enthusiastic I am about seeing you! (Also, because quarantine has made us all a bit stir-crazy, and we quite don’t know what to do with ourselves when we leave the neighborhood.) You’d laugh at my antics and dance your arms out the window.

This is our first drive-through dance party, but definitely not our last.

After purchasing our drinks of choice (and a baked treat), I’d follow you to a local park that has a nice, shaded walking path for strolling.

As we lock up our cars, we’d talk about how strange it feels not to greet each other with a hug. We’d do “air hugs,” lamenting how it’s not the same, but it’ll do for now.

We’d begin our walk, you a little bit ahead, me a little bit behind and to the right, so we can see each other’s smiles more easily. We sip and stroll and slowly feel that revival of the soul that comes whenever we meet up for these coffee dates. And especially now after this long time apart.

We’d each take turns sharing about the creative ways we’ve stayed connected with friends and families in this season–even reconnected with friends of old. What an unexpected gift!

And yet, in the same breath of sharing our gratitude for Zoom birthday parties and Skype story-times, we’d acknowledge how they cannot and will not ever replace that in-person connection we were made for. We’d pause, sigh together, and “air clink” our cups–in gratitude for this time together and in hope for the ones to come.

If we could enjoy a cup of coffee together on a socially-distanced stroll, I’d probably tell you something like this:

“I had an idea for what we could chat about today. Do you know Emily P. Freeman? She wrote the book, The Next Right Thing? And has a podcast by the same name?

Well, I subscribe to her newsletter–it’s one that I love to open every month–and she has this practice where she reflects on her last month by answering three different questions, and she asks her readers to do the same. They always get my own gears turning. And I thought we could each take a stab at three questions today! Is that cheesy? Tell me if that’s too cheesy.”

You’d assure me, no it’s not cheesy. Or at least, not too cheesy for you. And I’m reminded of why we just click together so well.

“Okay, so the three questions are…” {I hold up my left hand to read the questions I wrote down before leaving the house so I wouldn’t forget. Yep, I’m basically a seventh grader at heart.}

1. What was a moment of joy for you this past month?

2. Name something you’re reconsidering as a result of the last 30 days.

3. What is one thing you’d like to start doing the next 30 days?

We’d each take a sip of our drinks as we ponder. I’d remark on how I immediately have answers for two out of three of them, but am thankful that you’re the sort of friend with whom I can verbally process, and come to discoveries as we chat.

And so, with your gentle nudging, I’d take a stab at them:

1. What was a moment of joy for you this past month?

“Finishing Pepper’s Birth Story…for sure!

I started this project on May 3rd, thinking I could knock it out by her first birthday on May 8th. {Giggle.} Yeah, this is me we’re talking about. “Wordy” is my middle name. That was not a realistic goal.

But 40 days and over 7,000 words later, I finished it!

Oh my, there were so many times I wanted to give up–so many times when my inner critic would discourage me, saying things like, “You always do this. You make things so hard on yourself. Why didn’t you write this down when it was fresh? People are going to think it’s so lame you’re sharing this now, over a year later.”

Yeah, my inner critic is a real peach, ain’t she? {Eye roll.}

But I’m so glad I pressed on. And I allowed myself to take my time with it–and just enjoy the writing process!

I cried. I felt butterflies again. I was surprised and delighted.

I got to play Nancy Drew, dredging up old text messages and photos and videos to piece together the timeline of our pregnancy through Pepper’s first few weeks!

The most magical moment was when I discovered snippets of video footage I had never seen before that were hidden in Live Photos that the nurses took for me in the O.R. I was fairly new to my iPhone back then, and I didn’t understand how Live Photos worked. So, it wasn’t until this past month that I got to see the little videos of Pepper’s first few minutes on the warmer and as Mark was cutting her umbilical cord…it was uh-ma-zing.

So, yeah…my moment of joy this past month was getting to re-live a moment of joy from last year.”

2. Name something you’re reconsidering as a result of the last 30 days.

“Whoo-ee, I have been on a real journey the past 30 days–or really, the past three weeks–since I first saw the video of George Floyd’s murder. It has rattled me. And it has made me examine my own heart and question why I haven’t been rattled like this until now.

It has made me reconsider so much–from how I use my platform on social media to how I parent our girls to how I confront the truth of my own racism and let God shine His light on the darkness in me.

Truthfully, I never really thought I had anything to add to the race conversation in the past, and so I figured it was better to stay silent.

But as I’ve been listening to and learning from my Black brothers and sisters, I’ve been convicted that my silence does more harm than good. That if I only speak against injustice when it affects me personally, I have completely missed the mark. If I believe that every single person is made in the image of God–that we are all His children–then the oppressed are my family.

I know it will be uncomfortable to do this kind of heart-work. It will painful to look squarely at the history of violence and hatred toward Blacks in our nation. It will take work to build a more diverse library in our home and a more diverse community around us.

But I’ve gone from thinking it’s optional to thinking it’s necessary to living out God’s call to love my neighbor (Mark 12:31). To speaking up for the unheard (Provers 31:8-9). To seeking after justice (Zechariah 7:8-10).

I’m stumbling forward imperfectly on this journey, but thankfully, the God who is my guide has never led me astray before. So, stumble forward I will.”

Here are a few Instagram posts in which I share what I’m learning:

• • May 31: “It’s time to speak up.”
  • June 3: My mom’s small, simple step that inspired me.
  • June 4: Bible Journaling Psalm 82: my tribute to George Floyd (timelapse video)

3. What is one thing you’d like to start doing the next 30 days?

“Okay, for this one, am I allowed to re-start something I recently fell off the wagon with?”

You shoot me a look that says a resounding “of course!” that makes me heave a sigh of relief.

“Wonderful.

So, remember how at our last coffee date, I told you about my one word for 2020, ENOUGH?

Well, I know the key to believing in my enough-ness comes from drawing near to Jesus–spending more time just BEING with the one who says, “You are enough in me.”

And for pretty much the entire month of May, I was consistently starting my morning with a Yoga with Adriene video on YouTube, followed by 10 minutes of silence and solitude time with God.

10 minutes may sound like “no big deal,” but let me tell you: trying to spend 10 minutes in the quiet, not talking at God, not trying to have some sort of spiritual revelation, but just focusing on BEING together is really hard. It was actually disturbing to me how much I struggled to quiet my mind and just be present with God in those 10 minutes.

But as hard as it was, it was a meaningful practice. One I grew to really look forward to. And crave each day.

Life got busy the past few weeks, and my to do list grew loud, and somehow I I fell out of that habit.

But I feel my body and soul crying out for it again.

So, I’m just going to say it here and now, with you as my witness, dear friend: I’m going to start it up again. Tomorrow.”

“Cheers to that,” you say with a smile. And we “air clink” again like we do now. On our socially-distanced coffee walks.

And so, after gabbing your ear off for the past *cough* thirty minutes, I’d invite you to share your three responses…or one…or whatever would be most helpful to process out loud together. You’ve been such a wonderful listening ear to me, and now I’d love to be the same for you.

Your Turn

{Seriously, comment below to share!}

1. What was a moment of joy for you this past month?

2. Name something you’re reconsidering as a result of the last 30 days.

3. What is one thing you’d like to start doing the next 30 days?

And as we’d continue on about our socially-distanced coffee date, we’d remark on how “walking and talking” go together quite well, don’t they? And we’d consider making this our new tradition perhaps instead of hogging a coffee shop table for a few hours…yet another innovative discovery that this global pandemic has brought us.

And before heading our separate ways, I’d “air hug” you goodbye for now, and you’d remind me that “air hugs” won’t last forever.

I’m grateful for you, friend.

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HANDY LIST OF LINKS

Here’s a handy list of links mentioned during our coffee date:

• Sign-up for my email newsletter HERE, so you don’t miss one of our future virtual coffee dates! And you can nab my free printable mini-book.
• Emily P. Freeman, author & podcaster of The Next Right Thing. If you enjoy my emails, I think you’ll LOVE hers!
• NEW blog post: Pepper’s Birth Story! For those who don’t have the energy to read all 7,000+ words, feel free to peruse the 70 photos.
• Scripture passages worth digging into: God’s call to love our neighbor (Mark 12:31), to speak up for the unheard (Provers 31:8-9), to seek after justice (Zechariah 7:8-10).
• May 31 on Instagram: “It’s time to speak up.”
• June 3 on Instagram : My mom’s small, simple step that inspired me.
• June 4 on Instagram: Bible Journaling Psalm 82: my tribute to George Floyd (timelapse video)
• In case you missed the blog post: My One Word for 2020: ENOUGH.
• Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. I usually find a 10-20 minute practice for my morning routine.

Looking forward to next time!