Our DIY Wedding Ceremony & The Art of Being Present
Do you hear those wedding bells chime? Here’s the next installment in Our DIY Wedding series.
To start at the beginning, click here.
As Mark and I near our 5th wedding anniversary (coming this July!), I thought it was high time I picked back up with Our DIY Wedding series. We’re so close to the grand finale, after all! To recap:
- We planned the wedding without Pinterest!
- We sent messages in bottles to our wedding party.
- We found a wedding venue on the beach (and with air-conditioning).
- We survived The Great Wedding Invitation Disaster of 2009.
- I tried on every wedding dress in the tri-state area until I found “the one!”
- We welcomed our wedding guests to the Jersey shore with open arms and beach buckets.
- We enjoyed a most memorable rehearsal dinner on a B & B balcony.
- And we captured some epic photos in a pre-ceremony photo shoot on the sand!
And now…at long last, we arrive at our wedding ceremony: the pinnacle event that we have been preparing for!
On Being Present
One of the best pieces of advice we received for our wedding day was from my college theatre professor, Mark Lewis…and it was advice that was given to him and his wife Mary for their wedding day.
He said that one’s wedding day can just go by in a flash without you even realizing it; so the challenge is to choose three moments throughout your day when you’re present. Just three moments when you’re not thinking of what just happened or thinking ahead toward the next thing. Three moments when you’re really, really present, taking in the sights, smells, sounds, and emotions of “the now.”
And he was right.
So much of our wedding day is a blur when I look back at it; and yet, because of Mark Lewis’s sage wisdom, there were three moments during our ceremony in particular when I was extremely present. And I recall those moments in vivid detail, as though they just occurred. And they possess the power of a time machine to transport me right back to that day…with that music…with those waves crashing below…with my nearest and dearest all around us…with that man I love holding my hand.
Now, as in keeping with the series, I’ll be highlighting the D.I.Y. elements of our ceremony that not only helped us save money, but added a personal touch. Yet because I can’t resist any opportunity to turn into Nostalic Nancy over here, I’ll also walk you through some of the highlights from our ceremony, including my three most present moments.
Oh, and since I’m a woman of my word, I’ll tell you how the words “toe fungus” made it into our wedding ceremony…with almost impeccable timing. After all, what would my wedding day be without a little drama?!
Music
First things first, I wanted to provide you with a soundtrack by which to read this post. So, I compiled all 11 songs from ceremony into a handy dandy 8tracks playlist for you lovelies. Just turn up those speakers and hit the “play” button in the bottom left-hand corner.
Here’s a list of each song and where it fell in ceremony for your reference.
Prelude
- Comptine d’un autre été – l’après midi, Yann Tiersen (Amelie)
- When I Can Read My Title Clear, Penny Rodriguez
- Ravel’s String Quartet in F Major (Second Movement), Ysaÿe Quartet
- Gymnopédie No.1 by Stephanie McCallum
- Clair De Lune, Debussy
Processional
- Yellow, Jem
Worship
- All Who Are Thirsty, Kutless
- When I Survey (The Wondrous Cross), Kathryn Scott
- Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lincoln Brewster
Vocal Solo
- Wedding Song – 1980 (Instrumental), Jay Castelli (that’s my dad!)
Recessional
- Beyond the Sea, Bobby Darin
We saved a lot of money by foregoing hiring a professional DJ and musicians; and thankfully, we had musical friends and family who stepped up to volunteer their talents through singing and guitar. We rented some speakers for the day, borrowed mics, and my friend Jesse ran an iTunes playlist on my laptop for the ceremony and later the reception. Our friend Greg sang the vocal solo initially written by my father for his own wedding day in 1980.
God bless my wedding guests; as you know, our ceremony started over half an hour late due to our pre-ceremony photo shoot taking longer than expected, so, they must have listened to that prelude music three times over. At least they had some light reading with our D.I.Y. wedding program to keep them entertained!
Wedding Program
Don’t worry. I didn’t stamp every single program. I mean, I know I’m crazy…but not that crazy. I simply created one hand-stamped and hand-drawn version of our program that I took to Staples to get printed. Then, we had a program-assembling party at our church the week before the wedding to do the hole-punching and raffia tying.
Our wedding date graced the front of the programs with our vow on the back. And yes, I totally ran out of room at the end there, but embraced the whimsy of letters climbing up the side of the program.
I interwove hand-drawn elements among the typed text throughout the program, which you can see here on the last page:
To save space, I won’t include all of the photos of our program pages here, but if you’re curious, you can still view them by clicking here: page 1, page 2 & 3, page 4 & 5, page 6 & 7.
The Moments I Missed
There are a few moments of the ceremony that the bride misses because she is holed up in a room in the back freaking out because of how late everything is starting and wondering what she can do to hurry things along until her sister-in-law Jodi kindly puts a hand on her shoulder and says, “You did a wonderful job planning this wedding, but there’s nothing more you can do at this point. So, just take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.”
Oh wait…I may have just transitioned from the universal bride experience into my own. But boy was I thankful for Jodi’s gentle reminder. And for our wedding photographer, Emily Johnston, who so beautifully captured our day…including the moments I missed.
Like our Moms being escorted to their seats…
…both of them looking radiant as always.
Present Moment #1: Walking Down the Aisle
This was one of my absolute favorite moments of the entire day. Coldplay’s song “Yellow” as covered by Jem played for the processional and my 10 bridesmaids a.k.a. “The Beauties in Blue” kicked things off…
…followed by Sidney scattering rose petals down the aisle…
…and then, with my arm in my father’s, hands clasped together, we processed down the aisle to the lyrics, “look at the stars…”
…and I just remember taking in the sea of loving eyes staring back. So many of our beloved “stars” all in one room. It was truly overwhelming in the best sense. Especially when my eyes locked on this one, biting his lip…
One of the highlights of the entire day. And one of the most emotional. For certain.
Present Moment #2: Beach Sounds
One of our favorite things about our venue, McCloone’s Pier House, was that it enabled us to stay inside with air-conditioning during the peak of the summer heat on the Jersey shore…
…and yet, we had a magnificent view of the Atlantic Ocean. The windows overlooking the beach actually opened like sliding doors, so we enjoyed the open air during our ceremony. I remember taking in the sights and sounds of the world below us: the reliable sound of waves crashing onto shore and the occasional lifeguard whistle; people lathering up with sunscreen and kids gliding on boogie boards.
Taking in these ordinary moments and familiar sounds while our wedding ceremony was going was extremely grounding for me. Plus, salty air opens up the lungs so any anxiety I felt washed away with a few deep breaths.
Scripture Readings
My friend Becky arranged two scripture passages, 1 John 4 & 1 Corinthians 13, into a powerful poetic reading; she and Mark’s groomsman Ben read the passages back-and-forth, almost in call-and-response form. Hearing them read this way, the old familiar texts took on new life, enriching each other.
Free Printable
And if you’d like a free printable of the scripture reading mash-up, it’s available for all subscribers of The Thinking Closet newsletter. You can sign up to download your free printable using the nifty form below or by clicking HERE. {Fine print: this printable is for personal use only and is not to be used for commercial purposes. Thanks!}
The ending gets me every time….
My home church pastor, Pastor Tom, officiated the ceremony. I really couldn’t have imagined anyone else for the job considering he helped me through some rough patches growing up and really nurtured me as a leader. He also has such a refreshing, light-hearted way about him, so don’t be thrown off by his serious face in some of these photos; a joke is always soon to follow.
Exchanging Vows…
…and Rings
Unity Sand
In lieu of the traditional “unity candle” as the tangible representation of our marriage covenant, we opted for “unity sand,” more befitting of our beachy setting. The beach sand on the bottom represents the foundation we stand on (God; our families and friends). Then, simultaneously, the bride pours the white sand and the groom, the blue sand to represent their two separate lives coming together as one, never to be separated from this point on.
However, we never rehearsed this, so somehow I ended up with the blue sand and Mark, the white…and I poured at a much faster rate than he did, causing him to dump a big pile of white sand on the top. It was quite comical.
We have our unevenly-distributed unity sand displayed in our living room. Every time I move it to dust (which let’s be honest, is not as often as it should be), the sands jostle a bit and become more and more intermixed. It makes me wonder if by the time we’re old and gray, you won’t even be able to distinguish the white from the blue. There’s a metaphor there, I dare say.
Pop Pop’s Prayer
One of the great honors was having my Pop Pop pray over us. He is a retired CMA pastor and missionary…and someone whom Mark and I both look up to as a spiritual leader. Here is a short excerpt from his prayer that morning:
Those of us who have come today from many different parts of the country
to witness what you have given us as the most sacred human relationship:
the marriage of a man and woman.
We remember from scripture you brought Adam and Eve together.
You performed the first wedding.
When Jesus was on earth the first miracle that He performed was at a marriage in Cana of Galilee.
And we have every assurance that You are here though we cannot see You….
Present Moment #3: Worship
The third moment when I really slowed down and took stock was singing the hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” The words struck me anew as I bore witness to God’s great faithfulness to me and to Mark in bringing us together, first as classmates, then five years later as Facebook friends, then pen pals, boyfriend and girlfriend, and now man and wife. Singing those lyrics with my now husband among the chorus of our beloveds was an unforgettable moment; a taste of heaven this side of heaven.
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto me.
The Toe Fungus
Alright. So, here’s what happened next. In that oh so climactic moment when Pastor Tom was introducing us for the first time as Dr. Mark and Mrs. Lauren Lanker, one of those prop planes that roams the shoreline with an advertisement trailing in its wake happened to fly by…and so in this beautiful moment when I thought everyone was giggling at how cute we were…
…they were actually chuckling at what was happening in the sky directly behind us. Let me attempt to recreate it for you in picture form:
Yup. A little aerial advertising for ya. Perfectly timed. And oh so classy.
What can I say: we try not to take things too seriously! Though in truth, we really had no idea what was happening until folk later told us about it at the reception. In the moment, we were too busy doing this:
Take it away, Bobby Darin!
Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ship that go sailing.
Thanks for taking this journey with me, friends. It is made all the more meaningful to have you along for the ride!
Coming Up Next
Brace yourself for a dance-tastic glimpse at our reception. I have another music mix to share with you all along with some of my absolute favorite DIY wedding elements including our stamp flag cupcake toppers. Whaaaaaat?! Click HERE to join us at a party to remember.
Hi,
I am wondering how/where you got big number stamps like on the front of your programs? Our wedding coming up has a math theme and I love the stamped numbers look. Let me know 🙂
Ashley
Hi Ashley! So glad you’re a fan. I LOVE that stamp set and used them again more recently on a Stamped Word Search scarf I made for my hubby. I bought them at Michaels Craft Store years back and unfortunately, it appears they are now discontinued. However, I bet you could find something similar on Amazon if you searched for foam block letter stamps or foam capital letter alphabet stamps. Let me know if you do so I can update the links in both of these posts. And best of luck with your math-themed wedding! So much fun!
Also, I just had another idea! If you were willing to print them rather than stamp them, you could download a similar font for free. I just searched “distressed jersey font” and came across some great options! Hope you can figure something out.
What a wonderful, lovely post <3
And the two scripture passages go together like they were meant to be… Love that!
What a great post Lauren. I’m not really the best at being present, especially when there are so many other people around. I have a really hard time filtering things out. It’s one of the reasons I do better in small groups than large.
P.S. – I laughed at you’re comment “I’m not that crazy.” You see, I am. 😉
Honestly, I don’t think I was very good at being present until joining my college theatre ensemble where we would spend 2 days a week on exercises that really grew that skill! And even still, it takes work. I, too, prefer the smaller groups to the larger!
P.S. Ha ha, and I love your craziness. You see, I would have been crazy about those programs had it not been for my craziness over my wedding invitations, which almost broke me! Thankfully, I ultimately won that battle…but it wasn’t without a fight! Lol.
Lauren, you look absolutely stunning and I got all teary eyed reading your story. Everything was so beautiful and I love all of the DIY details! The advice about picking out 3 moments to be present is absolutely priceless. Such great advice and I only wish I read that before our wedding, haha.
Awww, I feel like I was right there with you, Lauren! I love the advice you received to try to be present and capture those special moments. I have such random recollections from our wedding day – all the bridesmaids and me painting our toenails on the patio that morning; waiting in the back of the church with my dad, etc. I also love your soundtrack! Clair de Lune is one of my most favorite pieces for how soft and delicate it is 🙂
This is soooo great Lauren. I am so glad that you put this together and posted it. “Being in the Moment” was a piece of advise that I also was gifted. My 10 year anniversary is coming up and January and you have inspired me to dive back in the Wedding day.
I don’t know how I stumbled upon your site but I am so glad that I did. I was looking for creative ideas for my daughter’s wedding which is set for April 18, 2015. I want to tell you that I don’t know your or your husband but the picture of you two at the end brought tears to my eyes. The look on his face of complete and utter confidence and joy of a man that has just married the woman of his dreams and the look on your face of complete love and adoration as you two walked down the aisle hand and hand. I am so happy for you both. It is my prayer that my daughter and her soon to be husband will be as happy as you two are. Thank you for sharing your beautiful day with us. I absolutely loved the scripture prayer and plan to share this with my daughter. Again thank you for sharing and God bless your family.
Jacquelyn in Memphis TN
Aw this was such a fun read!! You look so beautiful! And wow, that’s a lot of bridesmaids – lol. I literally laughed out loud at the Toe Fungus picture. That is just classic. xo
Woweee! Oh Lauren! I feel like I have been transported, cup of tea in hand, into your wedding day. I was totally enchanted by your beautiful day and so inspired! I love love loved your handmade wedding programmes, I love how personal they were. I also loooovveeee your photographs and the way you just made me nearly spit tea all over my laptop as I read about the toe fungus! haha! you made me laugh! hehe! Thank you so so much for sharing and allowing me to be a part of your day, it was like I was actually there (how cool would that of been!?) I am definitely super inspired to keep planning my own and add all of that handmade goodness into it just like you did!
I’ve been listening to the beautiful music as I read through this memorable blog (in more than one way). I got to see parts I didn’t see or don’t remember. But the feelings and the happy tears still remain after these five years. The “3 Presents” advice from Mark Lewis is a great reminder to all who read this and are planning/organizing any event. In my usually punnish ways, it reminds me of the 3 Magi giving gifts to the Child…and He has now given you two the gift in return…for five and many more times.
Love,
Dad
What great advice! I wish someone had given it to me, since my wedding day is all a big blur now. I love hearing about your wedding. Toe fungus… lol.
My husband and I are coming up on 4 years and were married on the beach in southern California. Since we were on the sand, we each took a step back and scooped the sand where we had been standing (so we’d always have the place where we were married…cheesy right?) and poured in unity into a photo box. I poured quite a bit faster too. Your whole post made me smile but your recollection of the sand made me realize that was one of my present moments. Thank you for reminding me.
You guys are too sweet and you looked stunning on your special day. Looks like your wedding was absolute perfection (minus the toe fungus) 🙂
What a beautiful wedding. You look so beautiful and your dress is gorgeous!! I love that Christ was the center of your wedding. That’s what I want for my two daughters when they get married. On July 2nd, my husband and I will celebrate our 23 anniversary. As long as Christ is at the center of your marriage, you will be blessed like us. Congratulations on five years!!
What a delightful documentation of your and Mark’s wonderful wedding! Your DIY aspects made it even more special and meaningful…and Becky’s powerful reading as well as Pop Pop’s prayer, the music, Pastor Tom’s message, the unity sand, and all the special friends and family surrounding you/us made it very precious.
I had forgotten that Emily actually captured that Toe Fungus ad! As that ad flew past the windows, I looked at your sweet mother-in-love and our eyes met and we both smiled knowingly! It was a moment of levity in the midst of the sacred event taking place that reminded me of God’s presence and sense of humor that should always be part of marriage.
Congratulations on nearly FIVE years! I loved your comment about when you are old and grey the blue and white sand will be totally blended together amidst the beige sand. God bless you as you grow together, dear ones! xxoo
Beautiful!! Looks like everything was perfect! Thank you so much for sharing!
Lauren, I am twice your age and married 40+ years. I started following your blog because you show some really great Silhouette projects. I found you when I was deciding if I should purchase one. (I did). I had to tell you that I just love today’s post. I am sitting here rejoicing in the beautiful scripture reading and the clear picture you painted of a God-honoring ceremony that portrays His delight in marriage and His love for us. Creativity and worship….creativity as worship. Well done!
What a lovely post – thank you for sharing it with us! Happiness is just oozing out of your face in all these photos, and it is delightful to see. <3
Haha I had forgotten about the toe fungus! So fun to re-live that weekend:) xoxo
I agree 100%, be present! It is not only a great mantra for your wedding, but for your life in general. Twenty years ago, I was not as self actualized as you seem to be, but I did wear a watch and check it often in a futile attempt to slow down the day! It worked a bit, every time I peeked at it, it seemed to freeze time for a moment so I could fully enjoy that moment! Great post! 🙂