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7 Tips for Finding A Wedding Venue

Welcome to Part 3 of Our DIY Wedding series.  To start at the beginning, click here.

Today, we’re going to be talking about that oh-so-fun process of hunting down a wedding venue.  Now, I’m going to tell you right off the bat that there’s no “perfect” wedding venue.  We ended up having our wedding at a very different venue than any of us first imagined, but it ended up being even better than our plan A in the end.  (Isn’t God good like that?)

This post is actually coming at you courtesy of my lovely parents, Carolyn and Jay.  Yes, they’re guest posting on this one!  A lot of my memories about this part of the process were hazy for me, and since they played such an active role in it, they jumped at the chance to take the reigns of my blog for a day.  Watch out now!

Many of you have already had an introduction my incredible parents through their epic 30th birthday gift to me, my anniversary gift to them, and our family cruise together…but now you’ll get to hear their actual writers’ voices!  And I couldn’t be more excited about it.  So, take it away, M & D!

7 Tips for Finding the Best Wedding Venue for YOU!

Brought to you by: “The Parents of the Bride”

The Parents' Perspective!  From Carolyn and JayLauren and Mark were engaged on Valentine’s Day in 2009, which was quite romantic!  We were thrilled!  However, we were still absorbing the news and the growth this would bring our little family when the couple also informed us they’d be getting hitched in about FIVE months.  (And no, they weren’t eloping!)

Looking back, here is what we did to secure a venue in that time frame along with the lessons we learned.  We hope these tips are of help to others who might be in a similar situation, whether it be planning a wedding, a high school reunion, or a family party.

Tip #1: Determine your parameters and preferences in advance.

Once the engaged couple figured out a date that would work for everyone-they-wanted-in-their-wedding-party, they asked if we could help them find a venue for a weekend in July.  They desired a barefoot-on-the-beach ceremony with an evening reception.  We also estimated a guest list of between 175-200 people, and for important reasons, the reception would be alcohol-free.

Since the first choice for our own wedding (the parents) had been at a beach or at least near the water–and neither were possible for us–we got some vicarious enjoyment out of this adventure.  Lauren and Mark requested that the locale be in Ocean Grove, which is a lovely beach town on the Jersey Shore.  It is where we first met Mark the previous summer and where he had announced to us that they were officially dating.  It has also been a favorite family summer vacation spot since 1988.   The event would be a “destination” wedding, but less than two hours from the town where Lauren grew up.

Ocean Grove, NJ

Tip #2: “Let your fingers do the walking” as much as possible to scout out a wedding venue.

First, Lauren made some phone calls to see if the ceremony and reception could be held in Ocean Grove.  Because of a law-suit involving a wedding, we were told Ocean Grove itself could not be a possibility for a barefoot-on-the-beach ceremony that summer.

Because most wedding dates are reserved a year or two in advance, finding an opening a mere four months ahead proved daunting, but not impossible. So, on a winter ski trip the end of February, we, the parents, made phone calls during the hours of driving, to sites along the Jersey Shore near Ocean Grove (OG) and took notes.  We asked about dates and openings for day and evening, cost per person for an alcohol-free reception, dance-floor availability, number of guests they could accommodate, etc.

We were able to reduce our possible venue sites to 3 or 4 by mid-March just by making phone calls and visiting websites.  Then, it was time to visit them ourselves!

Tip #3: Be willing to compromise on those preferences!  You may be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Lauren and I (mother of the bride) took a trip one weekday to explore the options that had been distilled down after phone calls and emails.  Lauren had arranged interviews with the managers of two sites.  There was plenty of snow on the ground, and it was hard to envision a sunny day in July. It helped us tremendously with the search to physically visit and meet with the managers of the sites.  One venue was on an inlet and was clearly too small for the approximately 200 guests.  Several others we just eyeballed or dropped by unannounced.  We got an impromptu tour of a reception hall in Belmar, but the musty smell eliminated that option.

Searching for a wedding venue by car....

Our last option was McCloone’s Pier House in Long Branch—about five miles north of Ocean Grove.  They had an opening for the preferred date for the wedding, but it was in the morning, not the evening.  It had ceremony options for both inside or outside on the beach and a spacious reception hall with full glass windows that allowed for an unimpeded view of the ocean. They offered a fair price for a delicious lunch buffet, even without alcohol.

This location became our first choice because of the beach setting, beautiful space, fair price, and friendly staff.  Once Lauren came up with the idea for having several activities in Ocean Grove including the rehearsal dinner (with the support of Mark’s parents), the pre-wedding photos, and an after-dark on the beach s’mores party on the Friday and Saturday nights (after the reception), the Long Branch venue became a reasonable compromise.

We finally found it!  McCloone's Pier House.

We also remembered that it could be very hot in July and some guests would have physical difficulty negotiating the hot sandy beach.   It could also rain.  The compromise was to have the wedding ceremony inside in air-conditioning and at the reception site for convenience and efficiency of time.  This also saved money as the beach set-up would have been an extra-cost.

The compromises we made on those initial parameters worked out for the better in the end!  Both our beloved Ocean Grove family vacation spot were included in the celebration process as well as the beautiful Atlantic Ocean from an elevated view in Long Branch, NJ.  The morning ceremony allowed for a full day of celebration and enjoyment of the beach for swimming in the late afternoon for out-of-town guests.

McCloone's from the beach below.
McCloone’s from the beach.  That’s our wedding reception on the second floor!
Long Branch, NJ - July 2009
View of the beach from McCloone’s.  {Photos by Emily Johnston}

Tip #4: Have the best negotiator in the family do the venue negotiation.

One advantage of looking for a venue just a few months before the wedding is that the reception hall is eager to fill-in the date at that point.  While the mother and the bride were able to find a beautiful and fun location, it so happens that in our family, the father of the bride is more skilled at negotiating price.

The following week, the Father of the Bride and a trusted bridesmaid (Becky!) returned with the Mother and future Bride to the favored venue site.  The father had the attitude that we would walk away from the site if the price wasn’t fair.  Keep in mind that this wedding was planned during the Great Recession, so we benefited from that market circumstance as well. The Father of the Bride was also able to negotiate the price of parking which would be valet and off-site.  We chose to pay for the valet parking for guests.  All possible add-ons were negotiated up front, and once we were satisfied, we signed a contract to secure our spot!

Lauren and Becky, dancing on the boardwalk in February…trying to imagine what it will be like…

Using our imaginations....
…in this same spot come July!

Our wedding day, July 18, 2009.  Long Branch boardwalk.
{Photo credit: Emily Johnston}

Tip #5: Be sure to arrange in advance for the wedding license and officiant. 

Because the venue was in New Jersey and both the Bride and Groom were from out-of-state, they needed to get a marriage license in Long Branch, NJ.  Thankfully, the Bride could take care of this and only needed the Groom to be present to sign the day before the wedding.  This saved a lot of potential headache.  (Be sure to investigate your state’s rules on such things).  Also, thankfully, Lauren’s home church pastor was available to officiate at the destination wedding site.  Things were falling into place.

It's official!  Getting our marriage license finalized the day before the big day.
It’s official! Getting the marriage license finalized the day before the big day with Angelina’s help.  (She really was an angel.)

Tip #6: Check GPS coordinates for the venue site and pre-print map directions for the wedding party.

When the big day came, Lauren and Mark chose to have wedding party photos taken under the pier in OG and then drive to the wedding venue using their own cars.   A few of the groomsmen got lost as the venue has two different locations in close proximity.  The photos took longer and by the time everyone arrived, the ceremony started about ½ hour late.  Just know that you can do your best to pre-print maps, arrange for group transportation, and communicate directions (as we did), but there will undoubtedly be glitches with guests arriving on time.  Things always take longer than you think they will.  Just go with it.  The late start of the ceremony allowed for late guests to arrive!

Ceremony at McCloone's Pier House
Eventually, we all got there!

Tip #7: Keep it all in perspective.

Remember there will be glitches, disappointments, and unplanned incidents, both good and bad—just like a marriage!  So enjoy the ceremony and reception anyway!  Keep in perspective that the marriage itself is even more important than the venue and the wedding day.

–“The Parents,” Carolyn & Jay

Getting our dance on at the reception.
{Photo credit: Emily Johnston}

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Thanks, Mom & Dad!  I couldn’t have said it better myself.  I really feel so thankful to have two parents who were so supportive of Mark and me throughout the whole wedding planning process.  With their help along with the help of my maid of honor sister, my amazing bridesmaids, and loving MIL, we made it happen.  When you’ve got a team like that, who needs Franck?

Lest you think it was all smooth sailing, I’ll be back next week with the next installment in Our DIY Wedding series: The Great Wedding Invitation Disaster of 2009.  Come ready for a good hard laugh with that one….  {Click here to check it out!}

In the meantime, do you have a story of how you found your wedding venue?  Or a party venue?  Any tips to add to the list?  We would love to hear your stories in the comments section below!

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20 Comments

  1. My best friend is getting married, and she wants to be sure to find a venue that will accommodate her guests that will be easy to access. It is good to know that keeping things in perspective on your big day is important. I like what was said about how the marriage itself is even more important than the venue and the wedding day. It is nice for my friend to be thinking of everyone else, I will try to plan things to her expectation so she can focus on her wedding instead of being a host. Thanks.

  2. I did not know that most wedding dates are reserved a year or two in advance. I am happy to learn that it is not impossible to find a venue with only four months notice. I have heard that it is a good idea to be flexible with booking a venue. My sister had her wedding booked for a Saturday but moved the event to a Friday in order to get the venue she wanted.

    1. Nothing is impossible, right? And you’re right, flexibility is key! In the end, looking back, I see how it all worked out for the best! And I trust your sister found the same to be true. Thanks for the comment, Jade!

  3. And, yes, it was a beautiful wedding! A tip-of-the-hat to the guest posters! Good info! After being parents at 3 weddings maybe we should provide some pointers at some point. Maybe that’s fodder for a future blog. I’ll make a note and add it to the long list of things to get to.

    1. “Henwii”, you must write your own blog one day on this topic! You’ve had three weddings at beautiful venues. And Jon and Abby’s was the result of an initial disappointment that, from my perspective, turned out to be a fantastic alternative! Thanks for your tip-of-the-hat!

  4. Great post, mom and dad! 😉 I love how everything worked out just perfectly, even though it wasn’t exactly according to plan. Your day looks like it was beautiful! And I LOVE Father of the Bride. Such a cute flick! Hope you had a wonderful weekend, Lauren!

    ~Abby =)

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Abby! (And I chuckled to hear you call my parents M & D. They’ll love that.) Our weekend was really great – – just got back from a trip up to the northwoods of Wisconsin. In fact, I should have a post finished by tomorrow with some pics of our adventures. Hope your weekend was swell, too, girl! Congrats again on reaching 1000 FB fans! Ow, ow!

    2. Thanks, Abby for your comment…yes, loved that you called us mom and dad! I echo Lauren in congratulating you on your 1000 FB fans!!

    1. We hold such fond memories of that day and our wedding venue. Thanks for stopping by to hear the story and check out the pics, Hannah!

  5. Thanks for that lovely post Carolyn and Jay. I got married on the ship ” HMS The Buffalo” which originally bought the first settlers out to South Australia in 1836 and is now in drydock and a restaurant. We hired the entire ship for the day and the photos were beautiful.
    I loved that “Father of the bride” movie and I think one of the funniest moments in cinematic history is Frunk (martin short) running through the house calling for Hank. “Honk, Honk, Honk”!

    1. Woah! “HMS The Buffalo” sounds like such an incredible setting for a wedding, Sharon. Would love to see some of those snapshots some day! (Do you have any on your blog?) Oh yes, and Martin Short is a comedic genius; Franck might be my favorite of his roles. That accent he created is unparalleled. Ha ha, you’ve got me cracking up to remember his “Honk!” episode.

    2. Thanks, Sha, for your encouraging words! Your venue sounds like it was totally unique and quite the fun adventure!
      I’m with Lauren, please tell us where we can see some photos!
      I wonder if there’s easily assessable technology where we could all watch that Father of the Bride movie “together” from wherever we are and chat on-line while munching on popcorn or some other favorite movie-snack!

      1. I’m liking this virtual “Father of the Bride” movie watching idea, Mom…. I suppose we could all hit play at the same time and then live tweet? Though that might get a little frenetic now that I think about it. We’ll have to do some brainstorming…. 😉

        1. We don’t want frenetic, that’s for sure! Maybe we’ll just have to savor the moments of that funny movie on our own time and in our own ways!

    1. So wonderful to meet you in person, too, Duane! You are such a warm and friendly gal! So far, the week has been lovely, and I’m enjoying a lot of wonderful time outdoors…thank you for the well-wishes. I hope the same goes for you, and thanks for checking out this post!

  6. Oh, I LOVE Father of the Bride! What a great movie!

    Our wedding venue was just a happenstance. We drove past it on our way back from checking out another wedding venue (that was a horror show) and decided to pop in and take a look. We loved it! (It’s a historic town hall in a small community near our town). Suddenly, it all fell into place.

    Once you have your date, it’s suddenly “go-time”, isn’t it? 🙂

    1. It is such a gem of a film, isn’t it? It strikes on so many universal feelings for a family planning a wedding, especially when it’s the first bird to “leave the nest” so to speak…as I was.

      And I loved hearing the story of how you found your wedding venue. Sounds like you guys found such a great space! In fact, now I’m going to go back into the post and add a question for the reader, asking how they found their venue. I’m sure there are so many unique stories out there, and I’d love to hear as many as possible!

      And yes, you’re so right. Things really start to feel official once the date and venue are set in stone. Eek! I get butterflies in my stomach just remembering it….

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