Home » Baby » 3 Shifts in Perspective to Guide Us Through Terrible Days

3 Shifts in Perspective to Guide Us Through Terrible Days

3 Shifts in Perspective to Guide Us Through Terrible Days... When things don't go as planned, it turns out we have a choice with how we respond. Here are three ways to change our view of a terrible day...to make them a whole lot less terrible. And to catapult our personal growth!

Yesterday was a tough day for me. But it taught me that I’m growing. And getting better at dealing with curveballs when they come.

I’ve often lived by the quote:

“How do I know what I think until I see what I say?” —E.M. Forster

So, I wanted to sit down and plunk out this blog post. Not only to process why it was tough, but to share what I’m learning. I hope it will be an encouragement to you, dear friend, especially if you’re having a tough day of your own.

What Exactly Happened

So, yesterday my website was down for over 12 hours, which in blog-time is like 1,000 years. Especially because my blog receives its highest traffic volume of the year on February 13th. It turns out there are a lot of last-minute Valentine’s Day gift-gifters out there. And they were scrambling to access my mini-books and round-ups of last-minute gift ideas.

But rather than downloading printables to make gifts, visitors were instead met with a big blank white screen and this message:

Error establishing database connection.

Which might as well have said:

Whoa. There are WAY too many people up in here. This website is going on holiday because we just can’t deal with the pressure. Peace out, yo!

As my friend pointed out to me, this is actually a great problem to have, right? It means I have some valuable content to share that folk are excited to access!

But if there are two things I hate, it’s

1) letting people down and

2) feeling out of control.

So, yeah. Yesterday very well could have been characterized as a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.  (Children of the 80s: you know that book reference.)

What I Realized

But ya know what, friend? Ya know what I realized right around the 30th refresh of my website and the 30th error message?

When terrible things happen, I have a choice with how I deal with it.

Sure, I could get all in a tizzy and freak out over the unprofessional impression I was leaving on visitors or the fact I felt I was leaving gifters in the lurch in their time of need. I could feel embarrassment over sending out a newsletter to you all inviting you to check out my new blog post, only to waste your time with a blank page.

Or I could take a breath. And choose a different path. A path of seeing the value in “terrible days” rather than…well…the terrible.

So, with some trepidation, I started trudging down that other path. That road less traveled.  And boy, did it make all the difference.

Here’s what I learned about the truth of terrible days:

1. It’s an opportunity to rely on others.

It’s actually really hard for me to show need. Like really hard. Like I have had close friends throughout my life say to me,

“This feels like a one-way relationship because I’m the only one showing need! What gives?”

And they’re right. It’s a big problem I’m trying to work on. And sometimes God catapults my growth through situations like these that don’t just invite me to show need, but require it.

I needed Bluehost technical support in a major way. (And one could say I made four new buddies with my different technical support representatives throughout the day.)

I also needed the support of my close people. Mark. My friend Darling. And when I reached out to them, I was met with nothing but love and encouragement. A much-needed buoy in the stormy waters.

Though showing need isn’t always my first instinct, when I do show that I don’t have it all together—that I’m not the Super-Woman I can so often strive to be—that I actually need a hug or a prayer or a word of encouragement—​it feels good. And healthy.  And right.  It strengthens that relationship, and in turn strengthens me.

So, my takeaway is this: when the plates fall, rather than sweep up the broken pieces in shame, think of it instead like a chance to invite over some buddies, turn on the music, and have a dance party while cleaning it up together.

Because it turns out self-sufficiency is so overrated.

2. It’s an opportunity to laugh.

On those terrible days, it feels like I could either cry…or laugh (or both). And yesterday, I did my best to choose to laugh.

In fact, my website crashing wasn’t the only disaster yesterday.

I decided to try and do some last-minute Valentine-making of my own and got inspired by an idea I found on Pinterest to apply red paint to the bottom of your baby’s feet, and then stamp them onto a piece of paper in the shape of a heart. (You can see what I’m talking about HERE.) You can add a sweet little quip to the Valentine like, “I love you, heart and sole,” and it becomes a memento for the baby book, too.

Well.

What Pinterest doesn’t tell you is that if you’re attempting said stamping project with a squirmy 8-month-old right before her 5 o’clock feeding when she’s hungry and tired, your foot-stamped hearts will look more like a Rorschach test. Or a crime scene. And the red paint will ruin your husband’s t-shirt. And none of it will be use-able.

But ya know what?

Junie was so miserable, and those stamped footprints were so terrible, and the situation was so not what I expected, I couldn’t stop laughing. And I want to pass that laughter onto you by sharing photos of our Pinterest Fail.

Baby Footprint Valentine - EPIC FAIL! Oh ya know those cute baby footprint Valentine's with the adorable quip like, "I love you from the tips of the toes to the bottom of my heart"? I got this. NAILED IT!

This isn’t my first Pinterest fail either.  Keepin’ it real, y’all!

My takeaway: laughter is the best medicine for a terrible day.

3. It’s an opportunity to trust.

It’s so easy to zero in our focus on our problems in that present moment that we all too easily lose sight of the bigger picture. Can I get an, “Amen?”

But the moments yesterday when I was able to step back and gain some perspective on the day, I realized I have so much to be grateful for. And these website issues always work themselves out eventually. I probably won’t even remember this day a year from now.

As my Mom’s famous mantra goes,

“In the light of eternity, it ain’t that big ‘a deal.”

And it’s true. This is such a small blip on my life’s journey and to spend the entire day obsessing over problems out of my control is foolishness. Foolishness, I say!  What I experienced isn’t even truly “terrible” when I consider the hardships of so many others.

Instead, I want to choose to trust that God has a plan even when things look like chaos. And He is molding and shaping me into the person He created me to be, using these rough patches to smooth out my heart. To grow me. To make me stronger and prepare me for the next rough patch.

One of my favorite songs is “He’s Always Been Faithful to Me,” by Sara Groves. It’s a riff on the classic hymn, “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” And it’s the soundtrack that plays in my mind on days like yesterday, reminding me that “All I have need of, His hand will provide.”  I need not doubt His faithfulness when things don’t go my way because He is good, and He is sovereign.

My big takeaway is this: Just remembering how small we are sometimes and how great God is, puts it all in perspective. It floods our hearts with peace. And kicks anxiety to the curb.

Final Thoughts

Terrible days are a part of the deal here on earth. They will happen. The question is of course how we will respond to them.

Now, I’m still growing, but I’m encouraged to know I dealt with yesterday’s technical difficulties better than the last time. And hopefully the next time terrible things happen, I’ll be better yet. Quicker to breathe deep. Quicker to seek help from others. Quicker to laugh. Quicker to trust.

The truth is this: we’re not pigeonholed into having the same struggles we’ve always had. We can change. We can choose a different way. We’re still rough drafts being refined into better versions every day.  {Click to tweet.}

This is a great encouragement to me.

And dear reader, I hope it is to you, too.

Your Turn

I would love to know what you think about this, and what is a’ brewin’ in your mind right now. What have terrible days been teaching you? In what ways have you grown and in what ways do you still want to grow?

You can share your thoughts by leaving a comment below so everyone can benefit from your wisdom.

This journey is better together.

signature

| |

18 Comments

  1. I feel like I am reading this just at the right time. Funny how that happens 🙂 My family and then myself was waylaid by a stomach bug last week and I was feeling so guilty and disappointed in myself that I hadn’t met my blogging goals. But, like you said, sometimes you just need to roll with the punches and have perspective.

    I liked your “fail” – it’s still a great reminder of your little one’s growth and your love for documenting it.

    1. Oh I’m so glad it was an encouragement to you when you needed it, Katie! That’s all God right there! Ha ha, and glad you enjoyed the Pinterest fail. I now see it as a WIN because like you said, it’s capturing a moment in time when she was just too wiggly and fussy to turn her tiny feet into stamps. (Now, I’m like, “What was I thinking?” ha ha.) Appreciate the encouragement!

  2. Your blog yesterday, 2/14, was so excellent. I had a very difficult Monday also so when I saw the title of your blog Tuesday I immediately read it. Words of wisdom! How blessed you are to know these Truths, choose to practice in spite of feelings to the contrary and then share so openly.
    I love your creativity but your words of wisdom and truth blessed me even more! Thank you!

    1. Vickie – – you would not believe how many people have come out and shared about their difficult Mondays! There must’ve been something in the air that day…. 😉 But truly, I’m sorry it was so rough. And I’m thankful that in sharing my story and some of the things I’m working on, I could be an encouragement to you, sister.

      It’s very easy to feel alone in this life journey. But I’m reminded again and again of how when we open up and are vulnerable, we often find we’re not as alone in our struggles as we thought. And the sharing of it can really be a weight lifted!

      Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share this comment. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where God is leading me and leading The Thinking Closet, and He is using your words of affirmation to guide me. Hugs!

  3. Good morning Sister!
    Reading about your journey yesterday was like reading a daily devotional, so well written and a reminder to know God has a well set out plan. I couldn’t help but being reminded of the time I couldn’t get my serger threaded to create a stitch and I tantrumed like a toddler. I was so embarrassed when all was said and done…this was years ago and I’d like to think that I’ve since quite matured, both in my worldly life and more importantly my Christ life. You are a blessing to a very large community of women by always bringing Jesus to the front of the line where He deserves to be ❤️

    1. Wow. I’m so humbled to hear that my words touched your soul. That’s God right there! Thank you for your words of affirmation, Genevieve.

      And I can so relate to your serger story. We’ve all been there. But the fact that you allowed it to become a learning experience, one you remember to this day, shows God’s work in you.

      My friend Gianna shared a metaphor with me one time that feels particularly apt. Sometimes, we find ourselves struggling with the same sin over and over again or making the same mistake. It’s easy to get frustrated and feel like we’re not making progress. But instead of thinking like the Christian walk as a treadmill, think of it like climbing a mountain. When you circle around the mountain, you may walk through the same untamed, rocky terrain as you did before, but you’re higher up in the climb than last time. He is refining our hearts! We can trust that. And we’re on our way to that mountain top!

  4. You are so, so right. It’s all just a thing. Just a blip in your journey. Your Pinterest fail literally made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the encouragement.

  5. Ahh!!!!! NIGHTMARE!!! I visited yesterday and saw it was down and did a had a small freak out on your behalf. Glad its back up and running! Did your host throttle you? Would be interested in picking your brain on how you fixed it in case it happens to me!!

    1. Ha ha. Thanks for understanding! Yes, it did feel nightmarish at times. The same exact thing happened last year around this time (pre Valentine’s Day), but not as bad as this year. Even though my host couldn’t quite tell what was happening at first and suspected faulty code or plug-ins, we ultimately determined it was the traffic surge that was causing the slow queries and site errors. After a lot of back and forth and working with my developer to troubleshoot, I ended up upgrading my plan to one of their cloud services just to get back online (which happened overnight). Still not sure if my host was “throttling” me, but it’s definitely possible. We’re going to ensure I have a CDN in place to help with caching and site speed.The one that comes with my cloud plan seems to be lagging a bit since my latest post isn’t on the homepage 5 hours later. Ahhhh, the misadventures of blogging! Love your curious spirit and that you’re always wanting to learn from others. I’ve always admired that about you!

  6. So sorry you had a tech malfunction. I missed it. I must have been on early enough. I dreamed all day of making a New York hoop piece of artwork for my daughter and hemmed and hawed over buying the Curio at 50% off. Alas, I did not do either. But it was fun to dream.

Your comments make my day!

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *