A Year of Pursuing Purpose (not Perfection): I Can’t Do It Alone
Every year I choose a word of the year…or rather, it chooses me.
My word for 2016? First allow me to set the scene:
My multi-passionate peeps will be able to relate to this, but I’m one of those people who loves to say, “Yes!” And it can be all too easy for me to follow every shiny thing I see and fire up a dozen different pots on the stove.
But at the end of 2015, I was feeling mentally exhausted. I was in the first trimester of pregnancy and pregnancy-brain hit me like the plague. (Let’s not rehash the time I was shipping packages at the post office and nearly broke down in tears because a postal worker made a joke about my inability to do simple math.) I had just self-published my eBook, Thinking Outside the Gift Box, in paperback, which was a huge milestone, but also way more work than I initially expected. And there would be no rest for the weary because I was about to hold auditions for a new musical I was co-directing.
As I peered ahead into 2016, I knew something had to change. There’s no way I could keep up my old pace. If I did, burnout would be inevitable.
So, I needed a word of the year to inspire me to take a step back—look at the bigger picture—and really hone in on God’s calling on my life.
Actually, one word wasn’t enough. Instead, I chose a phrase for 2016:
Wow. Just seeing it on a sticky note helps me breathe a little deeper.
What does purpose (not perfection) look like?
Four months in to 2016, I’m still figuring it out…but here’s what Purpose (not Perfection) means for me:
Dropping a few of the balls I’ve been juggling, so I can focus on doing a few things well rather than doing everything sort of okay.
Carefully considering new commitments before taking them on. And saying “no” more than I say “yes” right now.
Taking time each week to check-in with God and see where He is leading me. (Often I do this during my Journaling Bible sessions.)
Decluttering not just our home, but my mind through intentional rest. Mark and I have reinstated our weekly habit of taking a day of rest, and my soul savors every minute.
Streamlining routines so I’m working smarter, not harder.
The truth?
This is really hard for me. I’m a recovering perfectionist, so a lot of these practices go against how I’m wired and the habits I have developed over the past 33 years. And it doesn’t help that we live in a society that tells us our worth lies in how many checkmarks we can add up and how many feathers in our cap we can achieve.
Also, there’s a little inner critic in my head that likes to chime in from time to time saying things like,
“You’re not doing enough! You’re so behind! You didn’t even make a TO DO list today, let alone check anything off. Don’t you want more feathers? Doncha, doncha, doncha?”
I do. I do want more feathers.
But here’s the thing:
Deep down, I know that the feathers-in-my-cap won’t give me the lasting joy they promise.
So, I shush my inner critic and press on toward more purposeful living.
In fact, pregnancy has made it a bit easier in some ways. I find I have a hard time mentally handling more than a few big tasks a day. (Has anyone else experienced this?) I just don’t have the mental energy I used to. So, by necessity, I’ve had to be more efficient, focusing on my main priorities and letting little things go. As a recovering perfectionist, this has been such a shift for me. But I do think it’s a healthy one.
Why I Shared
I hope my story might be an inspiration to some of you yearning for purpose (not perfection), as well. Or perhaps you remember a season of life like this one I’m in and can share in the comments below the resources that helped you the most.
Because it turns out, the solo journey is waaaaay overrated.
And pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is hard…especially when you live your life in flip flops. {Grin.}
Your flip-flop-wearing Floridian friend,
Where to Next?
I’ve been choosing a word of the year for a decade now! It’s been one of the most meaningful practices of my adult life. For the curious ones, here are some more rabbit trails worth exploring:
Lauren, I’m late in posting a response to your latest entry. I might be late to the party , but not late for dinner. That aside, it’s been a one heck of a week here. I found your post extremely meaningful and the timing apropos. Recently, I received a diagnosis of breast cancer and with no family history of the disease, we were quite shocked. Good news is we caught it early and I have an excellent health care team in place and my treatment is mapped out. But your post really helped me identify what I’d already been doing since April 21, 2016 (diagnosis day). What isn’t important or what distracts me from moving forward with a positive attitude and a prayerful soul, needed to be place to the side. Living a purposeful life this year became my priority with the first purpose being a well defined plan of action and treatment for my illness. Much like your first post about Bible Journaling, this post hit home in so many ways. I’m a fighter and survivor; I will defeat this beast just as Daniel defeated the lions and David defeated Goliath. I know prayer is working because I have a sense of peace in my soul and an inner strength that only the Lord can place there. Anyway, thank you for sharing your purpose driven goal with us. It’s helped me focus a bit better and I truly appreciate all you share with us out here in the Blog-verse.
Wow Peg… I am so touched by you sharing your journey. It’s hard to even imagine the emotions you must have felt as you were hit with this terrible news. I just love that you said, “I know prayer is working because I have a sense of peace in my soul and an inner strength”. I think so often it is easy to think prayer is “working” once our circumstance have completely changed. Yet, you are speaking truth that God is at work in ways that we can’t even see yet. Praying along with you for the healing of your body and the continued peace of your soul. Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement!
I am so very excited about this bundle! I am no where near a perfectionist, but am always looking for great opportunities to learn and improve my life. I purchased a bundle for myself and gave one away on a Kids Cycle group where I belong.
Thanks so much for sharing this great opportunity!
Ah, this is such a big theme in my life right now! Lately I have been feeling burnt out. Purpose needs to be re-instilled in me, instead of this need for perfection, which is so hard to break away from! I find myself constantly running into new opportunities – free courses, webinars, deals that I “just can’t miss!” (which, ironically, is what I feel like this is like, but it’s for my mom, and I think it really would be beneficial to her), and I feel like need to do all these things, but it’s exhausting, and I’ve been thinking about ways can cut some of these things from my life that really don’t matter right now. Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂
I tried countless times to order this bundle as a Mother’s Day gift, but it’s not working. My sister’s trying, and I hope it works for her, because I think my mom would really enjoy this!
Lauren! Your words resonate on so many levels right now. Thank you so much for sharing your heart re: perfectionism. I think so many of us struggle with this (hand raised!) although, I would like gold stars, please, instead of feathers. haha But seriously, it’s something we struggle with, talk about, and then keep on doing! Argh! Thanks for sharing your journey, for showing that’s it’s alright to slow down, that living life doesn’t have to be a crazy race, and that we truly don’t have to go about it all by ourselves. Such truth.
And p.s. thanks for the shout out for my course! 🙂