Our DIY Wedding Ceremony & The Art of Being Present

Do you hear those wedding bells chime?  Here’s the next installment in Our DIY Wedding series.
To start at the beginning, click here.

As Mark and I near our 5th wedding anniversary (coming this July!), I thought it was high time I picked back up with Our DIY Wedding series.  We’re so close to the grand finale, after all!  To recap:

• We planned the wedding without Pinterest!
• We sent messages in bottles to our wedding party.
• We found a wedding venue on the beach (and with air-conditioning).
• We survived The Great Wedding Invitation Disaster of 2009.
• I tried on every wedding dress in the tri-state area until I found “the one!”
• We welcomed our wedding guests to the Jersey shore with open arms and beach buckets.
• We enjoyed a most memorable rehearsal dinner on a B & B balcony.
• And we captured some epic photos in a pre-ceremony photo shoot on the sand!

And now…at long last, we arrive at our wedding ceremony: the pinnacle event that we have been preparing for!

On Being Present

One of the best pieces of advice we received for our wedding day was from my college theatre professor, Mark Lewis…and it was advice that was given to him and his wife Mary for their wedding day.

He said that one’s wedding day can just go by in a flash without you even realizing it; so the challenge is to choose three moments throughout your day when you’re present.  Just three moments when you’re not thinking of what just happened or thinking ahead toward the next thing.  Three moments when you’re really, really present, taking in the sights, smells, sounds, and emotions of “the now.”

And he was right.

So much of our wedding day is a blur when I look back at it; and yet, because of Mark Lewis’s sage wisdom, there were three moments during our ceremony in particular when I was extremely present.  And I recall those moments in vivid detail, as though they just occurred.  And they possess the power of a time machine to transport me right back to that day…with that music…with those waves crashing below…with my nearest and dearest all around us…with that man I love holding my hand.

Now, as in keeping with the series, I’ll be highlighting the D.I.Y. elements of our ceremony that not only helped us save money, but added a personal touch.  Yet because I can’t resist any opportunity to turn into Nostalic Nancy over here, I’ll also walk you through some of the highlights from our ceremony, including my three most present moments.

Oh, and since I’m a woman of my word, I’ll tell you how the words “toe fungus” made it into our wedding ceremony…with almost impeccable timing.  After all, what would my wedding day be without a little drama?!

Music

First things first, I wanted to provide you with a soundtrack by which to read this post.  So, I compiled all 11 songs from ceremony into a handy dandy 8tracks playlist for you lovelies.  Just turn up those speakers and hit the “play” button in the bottom left-hand corner.

Lauren & Mark’s Wedding Ceremony Mix via 8tracks Radio.

Here’s a list of each song and where it fell in ceremony for your reference.

Prelude

• Comptine d’un autre été – l’après midi, Yann Tiersen (Amelie)
• When I Can Read My Title Clear, Penny Rodriguez
• Ravel’s String Quartet in F Major (Second Movement), Ysaÿe Quartet
• Gymnopédie No.1 by Stephanie McCallum
• Clair De Lune, Debussy

Processional

• Yellow, Jem

Worship

• All Who Are Thirsty, Kutless
• When I Survey (The Wondrous Cross), Kathryn Scott
• Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lincoln Brewster

Vocal Solo

• Wedding Song – 1980 (Instrumental), Jay Castelli (that’s my dad!)

Recessional

• Beyond the Sea, Bobby Darin

We saved a lot of money by foregoing hiring a professional DJ and musicians; and thankfully, we had musical friends and family who stepped up to volunteer their talents through singing and guitar.  We rented some speakers for the day, borrowed mics, and my friend Jesse ran an iTunes playlist on my laptop for the ceremony and later the reception.  Our friend Greg sang the vocal solo initially written by my father for his own wedding day in 1980.

God bless my wedding guests; as you know, our ceremony started over half an hour late due to our pre-ceremony photo shoot taking longer than expected, so, they must have listened to that prelude music three times over.  At least they had some light reading with our D.I.Y. wedding program to keep them entertained!

Wedding Program

Don’t worry.  I didn’t stamp every single program.  I mean, I know I’m crazy…but not that crazy.  I simply created one hand-stamped and hand-drawn version of our program that I took to Staples to get printed.  Then, we had a program-assembling party at our church the week before the wedding to do the hole-punching and raffia tying.

Our wedding date graced the front of the programs with our vow on the back.  And yes, I totally ran out of room at the end there, but embraced the whimsy of letters climbing up the side of the program. 

I interwove hand-drawn elements among the typed text throughout the program, which you can see here on the last page:

To save space, I won’t include all of the photos of our program pages here, but if you’re curious, you can still view them by clicking here: page 1, page 2 & 3, page 4 & 5, page 6 & 7.

The Moments I Missed

There are a few moments of the ceremony that the bride misses because she is holed up in a room in the back freaking out because of how late everything is starting and wondering what she can do to hurry things along until her sister-in-law Jodi kindly puts a hand on her shoulder and says, “You did a wonderful job planning this wedding, but there’s nothing more you can do at this point.  So, just take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.”

Oh wait…I may have just transitioned from the universal bride experience into my own.  But boy was I thankful for Jodi’s gentle reminder.  And for our wedding photographer, Emily Johnston, who so beautifully captured our day…including the moments I missed.

Like our Moms being escorted to their seats…

…both of them looking radiant as always.

Present Moment #1: Walking Down the Aisle

This was one of my absolute favorite moments of the entire day.  Coldplay’s song “Yellow” as covered by Jem played for the processional and my 10 bridesmaids a.k.a. “The Beauties in Blue” kicked things off…

…followed by Sidney scattering rose petals down the aisle…

…and then, with my arm in my father’s, hands clasped together, we processed down the aisle to the lyrics, “look at the stars…”

…and I just remember taking in the sea of loving eyes staring back.  So many of our beloved “stars” all in one room.  It was truly overwhelming in the best sense.  Especially when my eyes locked on this one, biting his lip…

One of the highlights of the entire day.  And one of the most emotional.  For certain.

Present Moment #2: Beach Sounds

One of our favorite things about our venue, McCloone’s Pier House, was that it enabled us to stay inside with air-conditioning during the peak of the summer heat on the Jersey shore…

…and yet, we had a magnificent view of the Atlantic Ocean.  The windows overlooking the beach actually opened like sliding doors, so we enjoyed the open air during our ceremony.  I remember taking in the sights and sounds of the world below us: the reliable sound of waves crashing onto shore and the occasional lifeguard whistle; people lathering up with sunscreen and kids gliding on boogie boards.

Taking in these ordinary moments and familiar sounds while our wedding ceremony was going was extremely grounding for me.  Plus, salty air opens up the lungs so any anxiety I felt washed away with a few deep breaths.

Scripture Readings

My friend Becky arranged two scripture passages, 1 John 4 & 1 Corinthians 13, into a powerful poetic reading; she and Mark’s groomsman Ben read the passages back-and-forth, almost in call-and-response form.  Hearing them read this way, the old familiar texts took on new life, enriching each other.

Free Printable

And if you’d like a free printable of the scripture reading mash-up, it’s available for all subscribers of The Thinking Closet newsletter. You can sign up to download your free printable using the nifty form below or by clicking HERE. {Fine print: this printable is for personal use only and is not to be used for commercial purposes. Thanks!}

The ending gets me every time….

My home church pastor, Pastor Tom, officiated the ceremony.  I really couldn’t have imagined anyone else for the job considering he helped me through some rough patches growing up and really nurtured me as a leader.  He also has such a refreshing, light-hearted way about him, so don’t be thrown off by his serious face in some of these photos; a joke is always soon to follow.

Exchanging Vows…

…and Rings

Unity Sand

In lieu of the traditional “unity candle” as the tangible representation of our marriage covenant, we opted for “unity sand,” more befitting of our beachy setting.  The beach sand on the bottom represents the foundation we stand on (God; our families and friends).  Then, simultaneously, the bride pours the white sand and the groom, the blue sand to represent their two separate lives coming together as one, never to be separated from this point on.

However, we never rehearsed this, so somehow I ended up with the blue sand and Mark, the white…and I poured at a much faster rate than he did, causing him to dump a big pile of white sand on the top.  It was quite comical.

We have our unevenly-distributed unity sand displayed in our living room.  Every time I move it to dust (which let’s be honest, is not as often as it should be), the sands jostle a bit and become more and more intermixed.  It makes me wonder if by the time we’re old and gray, you won’t even be able to distinguish the white from the blue.  There’s a metaphor there, I dare say.

Pop Pop’s Prayer

One of the great honors was having my Pop Pop pray over us.  He is a retired CMA pastor and missionary…and someone whom Mark and I both look up to as a spiritual leader.  Here is a short excerpt from his prayer that morning:

Those of us who have come today from many different parts of the country
to witness what you have given us as the most sacred human relationship:
the marriage of a man and woman.

We remember from scripture you brought Adam and Eve together.
You performed the first wedding.

When Jesus was on earth the first miracle that He performed was at a marriage in Cana of Galilee.
And we have every assurance that You are here though we cannot see You….

Present Moment #3: Worship

The third moment when I really slowed down and took stock was singing the hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness.”  The words struck me anew as I bore witness to God’s great faithfulness to me and to Mark in bringing us together, first as classmates, then five years later as Facebook friends, then pen pals, boyfriend and girlfriend, and now man and wife.  Singing those lyrics with my now husband among the chorus of our beloveds was an unforgettable moment; a taste of heaven this side of heaven.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto me.

The Toe Fungus

Alright.  So, here’s what happened next.  In that oh so climactic moment when Pastor Tom was introducing us for the first time as Dr. Mark and Mrs. Lauren Lanker, one of those prop planes that roams the shoreline with an advertisement trailing in its wake happened to fly by…and so in this beautiful moment when I thought everyone was giggling at how cute we were…

…they were actually chuckling at what was happening in the sky directly behind us.  Let me attempt to recreate it for you in picture form:

Yup.  A little aerial advertising for ya.  Perfectly timed.  And oh so classy.

What can I say: we try not to take things too seriously!  Though in truth, we really had no idea what was happening until folk later told us about it at the reception.  In the moment, we were too busy doing this:

Take it away, Bobby Darin!

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ship that go sailing.

Thanks for taking this journey with me, friends.  It is made all the more meaningful to have you along for the ride!

Coming Up Next

Brace yourself for a dance-tastic glimpse at our reception.  I have another music mix to share with you all along with some of my absolute favorite DIY wedding elements including our stamp flag cupcake toppers.  Whaaaaaat?!  Click HERE to join us at a party to remember.